Itachi's Pet
by OMGtheNinjas
Summary: Kisame has a cat. Itachi has a dog. Cute? Hardly. Akatsuki members with animal issues. What's not to love? Purposely OOC


Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or claim to. This is just fun and games.

Once, in a land we shall call OOC, there lived a man by the name of Uchiha Itachi. Itachi was a ninja, but not just any ordinary ninja; he was hardcore. So hardcore in fact he killed his family for no real good reason other than to measure the extent of his abilities. Then, he teamed up with a bunch of other hardcore ninjas who were just as bad as he was. This group called the Akatsuki.

Aside from being hardcore, Itachi could easily have been considered one of the strongest ninjas out there. Personality wise, he was reputed for having little to no emotion and being particularly cold. This gave Itachi an air of the mysterious that he didn't seem to mind too much.

However, Itachi had one deep dark secret.

Kisame had a cat. Although Trogdor was an ordinary cat, Kisame found his pet to be extraordinary. Kisame took his little red-gold Abyssinian everywhere with him and even had a special pocket sewn into his Akatsuki cloak so his kitty could be with him in battle. He even took his cat for walks and got him a collar with a bell and a leash.

One day, after Kisame had just set Trogdor down for his nap, the blue-faced man went out and down to the local pet store to acquire the special dietary nutrients for his beloved pet. On his way out, he was surprised to look across the street and see a familiar figure.

He squinted his eyes but couldn't believe it. There, across the street, Itachi was doing something he would have never expected to see his partner doing: walking a small brown puppy.

"Itachi-san!" Kisame cried out as he bounded across the street in an awkward fashion, much like that of a fish on dry land. Itachi's head snapped to the side and gave a dirty look to his partner.

"Is that your puppy? When did him?" Kisame raised an eyebrow. It was beyond him why the most solitary man on Earth who abhorred companionship of any kind would want a dog.

Itachi narrowed his gaze even more. After a moment of silence, as if he was trying to decide wether to smite Kisame for prying into his private life or not, Itachi finally responded. "He is NOT a puppy. It's a dog. And his name is Sasuke."

_Named after his younger brother, huh?_ Kisame thought.

"Okay, Sasuke." The shark-man paused before leaning over the dog. "And how are you today, Sasuke? Are you a good wittle puppy?"

Itachi glared and glared some more before reaching out a hand and smacking Kisame's hand away just before Kisame could touch the dog.

"Don't pet him. Sasuke has done nothing yet to be rewarded for. And I won't tolerate any of this.."Itachi searched for the right word before practically spitting it on the sidewalk like a piece of gum. "This 'puppy-talk' crap. Understood?"

Kisame frowned and nodded his head. He was used to Itachi's bitter personality and knew better not to argue against his eccentricities.

"Fine. Anyways where are you and…Sasuke headed anyways?"

Itachi stared at him, clasping the collar of his Akatsuki cloak to his face before answering. "…The park."

_For " walkies?"_ Kisame mentally laughed but knew better than to say it out loud. "Interesting. Perhaps, later we can introduce him to Trogdor."

"Introduce?" Itachi's face remained impassive as his mind turned over the word before he began to walk down the sidewalk, Sasuke trotting beside him loyally. "Whatever. Are you coming or not?"

"Sure, I guess." It took Kisame a moment to register that Itachi was addressing him. Itachi was being _social? _Kisame thought it was strange but then attributed it to the fact that maybe owning a dog was doing the man some good.

Together, the two men and the little dog made their way down the sidewalk and past row upon row of shops before they reached the grey arched gateway that led to the park. Passing through it, they proceeded down the trodden path beneath the trees and past venders selling dango, ice cream, and other snacks before they reached a large green field that was fenced in. This area was designated as a dog park- a place where owners could sit on benches and let their dogs freely romp around inside.

Opening the gate in a simple gesture, Itachi led Sasuke inside. The ninja then got on one knee and patted the dog on the head as he unfastened the leash.

"Okay, Sasuke, see all those other dogs over there?" Itachi pointed across the lawn to the dogs that were frolicking about. "You're better than them. But I want you to make friends. I don't care how you do it- sniffing ass or what not, but get them to trust you. Oh yes, make many friends. Then when you are old enough, you are going to kill them all so you can become strong like me. Killing friends breeds character."

The puppy quirked his head to the side as if confused by what his master had said, but Itachi interpreted as evidence of him understanding.

"Good boy. Now go." He shoved the dog away and watched him run in the grass before turning his head to Kisame with a sick grin on his face. "Do you still want him to meet your stupid cat?"

Moral of the Story: Itachi should not have a pet. Or be put in charge of children for that matter.

(A/N: Trogdor- THE BURNINATOR. If you don't get this reference, go check out Homestarrunner, specifically the Strong Bad Emails . You are missing out. )


End file.
